I am about to launch into one of the most adventurous chapters in my life as I am 21 days away from meeting my team for this summer and 23 days away from getting on a plane and flying to Kenya. After several days in Kenya, we will be flying back over to the U.S. with 23 beautiful Kenyan children, who will spend the months of June-December traveling the southeast leading thousands of people in worship. I have the incredible opportunity to be a part of the Daraja Children’s Choir for the summer, along with 6 other college interns.
Words do not describe how excited I am when I think about this summer…I am expectant to see the Lord work in so many different ways, and I am trusting that this summer will shed light on what He has in store for my future. I ask y’all to join me in prayer over the next few months for this incredible experience—pray for softened hearts as people are rocked by what these children are going to bring to the table…pray for wrecked agendas, wrecked lives even, of people who will be influenced in ways that they themselves cannot describe.

I really want to encourage y’all though, whether you are reading this as a parent, a college student, or a high school student launching into your summer…ask yourself this question: Is my heartbeat one that my Heavenly Father has? In other words: Does your heart break for what breaks His?
Now, this thought looks different for each of us…He has a purpose and a plan for each of our lives, and one of the most mind-blowing things about that is the fact that no two purposes are the same…they are all unique. So in this next season of your life, whatever that looks like, really ask yourself: Is my heartbeat lining up with His…do I have a heavenly heartbeat? Do I have something in my life, that when I think about it, my heart aches… “I want to see change in _______ , and I want You, Lord, to use me as Your vessel!”

I am so encouraged as I look at dear friends that surround me who have chosen to seek out His heartbeat for them, and put their aches into action: A few that come to mind are heartbeats that beat:

for old high school friends that they want to reach out to;
for lost parents that do not know Christ;
for roommates that they want to show Christ to;
for families that need to see Jesus’ unconditional love even through trials;
for co-workers that need to see the Gospel through actions of love and selflessness;
for a water crisis in a foreign country.

As you just read that list, I pray thoughts were spurred that your heart may be breaking for…I pray that you would take the time to really ask Him where and how He wants to use you this summer…ask Him for a slice of His heartbeat to consume you, and in turn, you will truly have a purposed beat.

The first thing that I absolutely cannot wait to share with y’all is the fact that I am now sponsoring a child through Compassion International in Kenya. BigStuf partners with Compassion; in other words, one part of this internship is that I got to go to Kenya for this past week to live in these children’s environments in Kenya, and then this summer, I will be raising awareness to the campers at BigStuf about the children in Kenya who are living in conditions that they cannot even imagine. We have a goal for this summer to have 2,000 Kenyan children sponsored by the end of camp week 10. I have always been a little skeptical about sponsoring a child because I never knew just how much of the $32 a month went to the child, how much was being taken in by the ministry, and I never knew if I would always have the money each month to give. This trip allowed me to see just how real and passionate Compassion is about seeing change and future Christian leaders rise up in Kenya; I decided while I was over there to sponsor a child. I flipped through the packets and found an 11 year old boy named Josiah. His birthday is in February and he is around Wright’s age, so I thought it would be a neat thing to sponsor a child that I could relate to in some aspects. I chose him on Monday night, and on Tuesday we were planning on going to a Mesih (spelling?) village to spend some time with the people there. It was a village that you would think you would see pictures of the people in a  National Geographic issue. The people spoke broken up English, but mostly Swahili and their tribal language. I was out playing with the kids, and the Compassion leader who was with us asked me what my little kid’s name was. I reminded him that it was Josiah, and right when I said that he looked at me and said, “Ann, meet Josiah.” God’s perfect timing: I had my video camera and camera out so Jeff (the intern leader) filmed me and Josiah meeting for the first time!!! It was the most incredible experiences of my life. He had never been hugged before; he didn’t even know what that ment. We had to demonstrate that for him…that is how deprived he has been over his 11 years of life. He spoke broken up english, but if I explained my questions he could answer them. He has a mom and dad, and siblings as well. He stayed attached to my hip the rest of the day, which I absolutely loved. We got lots of pictures together!!

The week was amazing in general. All of us interns got really, really close; it’s so hard to believe that we have only known each other for 2 weeks now. We stayed in a hotel in Nairobi, and it was right across the street from the Israeli Embassy so we felt very safe with the guards outside 24/7.  Monday, we went to the largest slum in all of Africa called Kabira, and it was 6km by 6km (about the size of Central Park) and over 7million people live there. The things that we saw there were unbelievable. Tuesday we went to the village which was about 4 hours away from Nairobi….like I said earlier, I felt like I was in an issue of National Geographic. Wednesday we went to another village about 3 hours in another direction and helped them lay the foundation of where a future watering tank would be. While we were there, the 16 interns got to literally “be in their shoes” for the day as we performed a daily task of the women of this village: we walked about one mile to a river where they collect water every day, at least 8 times a day. Not only did we walk a mile, but once we saw the river, we had to make it down an incredible rock mountain that was about 100 yards down. We walked down, carefully placing our feet because it was so rocky and muddy (this time of the year in Kenya is it’s rainy season), filled the plastic water jugs up, and then proceeded to walk back up the hill with the 40LBS. of water on our backs which was connected  to a piece of rope that was wrapped around our foreheads. The women of the village did this 8 times a day because the water was for the animals, showers, drinking water, etc. Never again will I complain about having to drink tap water instead of bottled water or water from the refrigerator!

Thursday morning we flew for about 45 minutes to a safari place and stayed there for the night. It was absolutely gorgeous and pictures will not do the place justice. The weather was perfect and we got to see so many different animals: giraffes, lions, monkeys, buffalo, hippos, rhinos…pretty much everything but leopards and cheetahs.

So I didn’t want to say many details because I know these blogs can get super long, but I just wanted to give y’all an overview of what my last week has looked like. The Lord really opened my eyes to so many things this past week, and I am so excited for what He is going to do this summer through BigStuf with the Compassion awareness mission that we all have. Lives were changed while we were there, both in the interns and in the children we got to spend time with.

Tomorrow we will start to load-up everything to head down to PanamaCity Beach! We leave early Tuesday morning and it will take us about 7 hours to get down there. Please be praying for safe travel as we all caravan down there, and also for physical strength as this next week holds a week filled with labor intensive work as we create the camp atmosphere: we have to totally transform a hotel ballroom into a place of worship and teaching for the kids. The first camp starts June 1st!

Me and Josiah right after we met!

Josiah and I holding hands

all the girl interns!

Love you all and thank you all so much for y’all’s continued prayers and support!

While at Camp Highland, I was having my quiet time at an incredibly early hour of 9AM, and I just really sat still and asked the Lord to reveal to me what He wants me to do this summer. I am definitely a girl that loves a solid plan; I felt like I needed a general idea about what I needed to expect for this summer. I wanted God to reveal to me exactly what my role would be at BigStuf, exactly how He would use me with different middle and high school girls, and exactly what I would learn this summer, or at least what to expect to learn this summer.

I waited and waited, praying that the Lord would reveal it in His time; whether that would be during this specific quiet time or just some time in the near future (the sooner, the better!). Literally, the second I opened my eyes from praying for the Lord to show me “what’s next” for this summer, I heard a quiet voice saying “Be still, Ann. Be still.” Immediately, I thought about the verse that says “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). That verse hit me in a new way that morning (which can only be expected about the living, breathing, active Word of God–sharper than a two-edged sword): the Lord revealed to me that I do not have to know what’s next, I do not need an agenda for this summer, I do not need expectations for this summer…I don’t need a plan at all because in the end, HIS WILL will be done! I need to BE STILL, trust in Him, and remember that HE is God! He has a perfect plan for BigStuf this summer–how awesome!!

So in that moment, I realized that I needed to be wrecked of all my summer plans, of all my expectations, of all my desires of what I wanted to get out of this summer. I needed to stop asking God what His plan was for me at BigStuf; instead, I need to just sit and love the truth that my spiritual love-journey with my Creator is ment to be adventurous and unplanned on my part, because I am called to trust in Him with ALL my heart, and that includes any plans that I think I might need for a certain season in my life.

I am leaving for Kenya tomorrow afternoon. My flight leaves at 4:40, and I would love for everyone to be praying for safe and smooth travel plans over the next 2 days. Also, I would love for y’all to be praying for a continual “go with the flow” type attitude from me towards my summer plans..a continual “wreckage” of ANY plans that I might have that I have yet to even realize that I am still holding onto.

Loving you all, praying that the Lord would reveal Himself to y’all everyday in a new way this summer!

The weight of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and the cross has really hit me hard this Easter season. Every other Easter season it’s kind of been a “Oh yea, this is the time of year where I celebrate Christ’s resurrection. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to have a relationship with God.” I’ve understood it on the surface, but I haven’t really ever gotten it any deeper than that, which breaks my heart,  but thank goodness God NEVER gives up on His children.

So obviously, God has really rocked my world this past school year, in unbelievable and indescribable ways. He’s so huge, and is unable to be anything but perfect. His plan is amazing, and I’ve learned the second you commit to walking FAITHFULLY in His will, He will bless the mess out of you. (I just rhymed..awesome.) anyways, so I read Isaiah 53 during my quiet time the other day and tears just started running down my face. It hit me…the weight of the cross finally hit me. I think I have never thought about the way that God is so big (Creator of the UNIVERSE) and He could have stepped in at any moment and said “ya know what, I love these people, but I already know that they are going to screw up, turn their backs on me, deny me, deny my love…why am I following through with this? Why am I sacrificing my one and only Son so that I can have a relationship with these broken people?” That’s just it…we’re broken, and He knew we needed the cross to be the connector between Him and us, His children. and He loved us THAT MUCH to allow His Son to be beaten, mocked, cursed at, to wear a crown of thorns on His head, hang naked ona cross in front of anyone He never knew–so that He can LOVE US

“Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear,
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross!

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
Human…The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now You’re risen!”
–Lead Me to the Cross by Hillsong.

I pray for each of you–that the weight of the cross, the weight of the sacrifice that God made for YOU and me..to have a personal, loving, intimate, unbelieveably exciting relationship with us..would hit you SO HARD this Easter that You would only be able to fall on your faces with tears in your eyes in recognition of what He has done for us!!

“God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He’s set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating.” -Colossians 1:13-14

Walking in God’s will is the most satisfying, joy-filled, lovely, fun, crazy, unpredictable path I have ever taken, and I ask myself everyday..”Why did it take 18 years for me to figure out that this was my purpose in life!?” I trust in the Sovereignty of God (that is, that He is in control 100% of every aspect of my life..His timing is perfect, and there is nothing that happens that He did not plan or allow) and so I thank Him that He didn’t give up on me. So many times I was unfaithful, unloving, turning my back on Him in certain areas of my life. But He has captured my heart, and as Philippians 3:14 says, “…But I have my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward–to JESUS. I’m off and running, and I am NOT turning back!”

Back in early October, I figured it out…finally. It’s so hard to explain with words, because after all, it is a supernatural thing when you realize what the Creator of the world did for you, and how badly He wants a relationship with you. So I walked, blinded to what He wanted for me and what He wanted to do for me; I had to trust Him, and He was not going to let me get away- I am His daughter, and He promises that he does not allow His children that He loves to wander from Him for too long before He takes everything out from under them so they have to to lean and trust in Him completely. He does whatever He has to to get our attention..because He LOVES us. Needless to say, I have been beyond blessed since I finally took time to respond to God telling me that He was ALL I needed in this world, and to be completely satisfied in Him.

I am one of sixteen interns at an amazing youth camp this summer called BigStuf in Panama City Beach; through this camp I will get to return to Africa for a short term mission trip, which is my favorite place in this world. If it weren’t for God blessing me with the internship, I would not be able to go back this summer..funny how God knows our hearts. He has blessed me with amazing, loving, fun sisters and brothers in Christ here at Clemson–best friends really. Friendships that are eternal, because they are rooted in Him.  I just joined NewSpring Church, and last night I went to FUSE, the youth group at NewSpring, and I fell in love with that place!! God is tugging on my heart to really plug-in there and invest in youth (6-12th graders). Not to mention the little things that happen daily that remind me that He is completely in control! I could go on and on with everything that He has done for me, but then this blog would just get long and boring for some readers.

In no way am I trying to say I am perfect or that I have this all figured out..I definitely do not know what I am doing sometimes, and most of the time I mess up a good many times before I get it right. And that’s where His never-ending grace comes in..He never stops loving me. There is nothing I could do to separate me from the love of my Father!

“None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us!” -Romans 8:37-39 (The Message)

So I just want to encourage you to ask yourself…How well do I know my loving, faithful Savior? Does He own your heart completely? Do you give EVERY area of your life to Him daily, before your feet hit the floor? Do you trust Him to take Your life and do with it whatever He wants, even if it’s not really what you want? Do you want to live a boring, predictable life…or do you want a crazy, adventurous life where YOU don’t even know what you are doing sometimes but just following your Jesus and what He has called you to do??